Sigh

The most haunting thing from yesterday was wiping myself after experiencing excruciating pain and seeing my baby on a wad of tissue. Looking like the glow nurture picture. And all I could do was flush him/her down the toilet. And that was the end...

Chocolate chip died

At 9 weeks and 2 days. I don't know how I feel. Mad at God? Disappointed? Angry? This hurts like crazy. I saw chunks of bloody mass/tissue pass out of me. I flushed my baby down the toilet. This is not right. God!

Oh. My. Goodness!

Today has been... Wow!

First, I went to pee and saw blood. I panicked and consulted Dr. Google. It wasn't flowing blood, just spotting. It was pink. I wasn't cramping or having any kind of abdominal pain. 

But before I saw this comforting information, I read an article that implied that spotting definitely meant bad news. The anxiety gave me the runs, I immediately needed to poop. 

Thankfully, this has now stopped. But I need to take it easy; I've had particularly strenuous week, so even though tomorrow is Thursday. My weekend has started. 

Second, I lied to Sola. When I was feeling funky in January (implantation time, by my permutations), I told her about them. She called me today to ask about them but I don't want to break this agreement I have with Bode. I'm sure she'll forgive me. I'm sorry bebe. 

Third, my right nipple just grew exponentially this evening. As in, it's the size of a mini boob! I really don't want bigger boobs all. I'm already a 36DD. Dear God, please keep my titties tiny. Amen!

I didn't shower this morning

Last night, I had to block off all air inlets into the bathroom when I was taking a shower. It was still hella cold. I wiped up with my towel and ran under the covers. I was shivering till I fell asleep. 

Anyways, I'm getting ready to head out this morning and I walked into the shower, the water hit my feet and I shuf it off I walked out. I cannot come and go an kill myself away. I had been complaining about feeling cold, only for hamarttan to show us yesterday and linger till now. (And I don't like bathing with warm water if I'm not dressing up in an air conditioned room). 

So maybe I'll bath tomorrow, or try a hot water bath tonight. We shall see. The rub-and-shine I did this morning hasn't fallen my hand.

Energy Bursts

The last two days have been good. No 'chronic' fatigue episodes like I experienced before. I even worked on the field today!

Thank you Jesus for a good pregnancy so far. 

The Pee Chronicles

It has begun!

I run off to the toilet like I've been holding my pee for two days and my bladder is about to burst. Then I end up peeing for about 3 seconds. It's so annoying. Sometimes I just sit there out of spite to the bladder. I do all the leaning forward, folding legs up tricks that Dr Google recommends but nothing else follows.

The interesting thing is that I ain't seen nothing yet. Dun Dun Dun.

I drink a lot a water though, but it feels like I'm just pouring the water into my bladder. Aren't there some processes the water will go through.

I tire.

Temperature and Hunger

I been having the shivers of late. Like mad. I finish taking a shower at night and I have to wrap myself up because I'm shaking uncontrollably. After staying wrapped up for a bit, I start sweating. 

I can't stand the AC in my office. I turn it off 5 mins after it comes on, and as soon as it goes off, I'm sweating. I don't get it!

I don't have an AC in my car and it's the most uncomfortable experience when I'm driving home in the evening. 

It's like my body can't decide what temperature it likes. 

One more month in this first trimester. I'm expecting things to calm down by the end of March, cos 'Eish!'

In this photo, I'm wearing a blouse, a thick sweater I crocheted, my work jacket and this scarf. My legs are so cold under those jeans though.

I'm always very hungry in the early part of the day. I eat as early at 6:30 and I poop at 6:50. Then I'm hungry again at 8:30 (if I'm able to find a healthy snack, yay!) I eat lunch before 1pm and most times I don't eat anything again till the next day. I know this is probably not good.

I don't like to eat before hubbs gets back, but he doesn't get back till after 8 most times. I get home at about 6, exhausted. I crash till he wakes me when he gets home, and that's the end till the following day. I'll figure this out.

Feb 14

Today marks 8 weeks. Glow Nurture tells me my baby is the size of a Jellybean. Lol. 

I'm feeling so 'UP' today. Chocolate chip also gave daddy a Valentine's Day card. He thought that was really cute. He's such a big teddybear. Pretends not be into all these mushy love things but the simplest smallest things get to him. 

He's such an amazing guy. Couldn't have asked for a better Baby Daddy. He's gonna spoil my kids too. God please bless him with everything he needs to be our provider, protector, shield and lord. Amen!

Things I'm learning

So, I'm finding some things out about my child.

1. Doesn't like traveling: We went to Ibadan on Saturday for Feyikemi's dad's birthday. Chocolate chip complained throughout the journey. I had to force myself to sleep to make the journey bearable. 
2. May be allergic to horses (horse dander): We stopped by at Ibadan Polo Club. It was my third time going there. The second time I rode the horse for about an hour. I had no reactions to the house whatsoever. We went to the stables on Saturday to 'visit' Lumi's horses, and my eyes got red, swollen and itchy, I started sneezing like crazy and felt a heatwave - typical allergic reactions. I love horses, so this is weird. 
3. Has a love hate relationship with Chinese Food: On Sunday, I ate Chinese food and puked, like major throwing up, with a headache. I ate the rest of my Chinese this morning, and took a tab of Avomine. It's struggling to stay down but I think I'll be alright. I don't know how I will stop eating Chinese. 
4. Doesn't like clothes with waist bands: I'm always unzipping my pants when I sit down. I've stopped wearing belts, and I'm always looking forward to getting home so I can remove my clothes. 
5. Doesn't seem to like Dodo: Whose child is this? I've been turning my nose up at fried plantain lately and that is not good. Who's going to take good care of all the plantain in the world.

I'm still not crazy about cookies and comfort food. That's not a bad thing. 8 days to our ultrasound - Yippie!

Cravings

I don't understand my stomach. At about 6pm I was sure I didn't want dinner. Then, on the drive home I wanted Hot Bread. As in straight out of the oven. Right now, I want Chinese specifically from Yang's at Roosevelt train stop in Chicago. I'm in trouble. Big trouble.

Oh dear.

Liar liar pants on fire

I've been dodging people trying to find out if we're pregnant yet. 

They will have to forgive me. Am I worried about miscarrying? Not really. I'm praying. Reading experiences on Glow Nurture can be scary. This baby is a blessing from God. "The blessing of the Lord maketh rich and addeth no sorrow with it". 

Aal izz well!

Oh. My. Goodness!

I bow for Pregnancy excretions - poop, farts and pee. The smell is on another level. I almost feel like running out of the toilet while I'm pooping. I go a lot too. Up to four or five times in a day, at least once after every meal. Spoke to the Doctor about it and she said it's not a horrible thing, but I should alert them if I feel like I'm not getting enough of the nutrients I need. (How does that 'feel'? Isn't there a test to check that? Lol).

Photo shows legendary bloating. It's so uncomfortable that it's giving me mild cramps.

7 Weeks and the Curious Case of the underwear

Sometime after I got married, underwear started to irk me. The first few months I struggled. I thought it wasn't proper not to wear them so I would endure through out the day and throw them off as soon as I got home. Later, I would wear them only about 10 times a month, during the AF week and a few other days scattered through out the month. 

This year I've worn panties about 3 times altogether. This freedom is ah-may-zeen! 😀. I hate having to wear a bra though. I can't go without one because 1. Ginormous boobies, 2. Sensitivity.

Cravings

For now:

1. Coke as in Coca-Cola. I've never liked Coca-Cola but this very minute that's all I can think about. Ice cold. And it's not even a good option. I will get over it by God's grace.

2. I always want peppersoup. Always. Goatmeat or beef. 

3. I don't seem to be interested in comfort foods/ snacks. I've been walking past biscuits, cookies, pastries, etc. That's a blessing. I still like chocolates though. 

4. Some people's cooking don't work for me. The woman that cooks at the office, I don't like how I feel after I eat her food.I may stop it. But the only other option is making my own food and...

The Bloat

I think I'm gonna stop eating.

I wish I could show you what my stomach looks like right now. I just had lunch, and Dang! I'm bursting. I didn't eat a lot, but my stomach doesn't agree. It's so uncomfortable. I've also been burping like a manner-less goat.

It's not like I had a flat stomach before the preggers, but this is way out there. I don't know how much longer I can hide this. Hubbs was making fun of me yesterday cos he said my lower abdomen was solid as a rock. He goes, you're so pregnant. I'm not even showing yet. He's so excited about the US scan coming up on the 21st. I'll be 9 weeks then. I asked him what his reaction would be if our scan showed twins; he said he probably won't be able to keep the secret anymore.

P.S. Hubbs has decided that the baby's nickname will be 'chocolate chip'. When we found out and I started using Glow Nurture, the app told us the baby was the size of a chocolate chip. So, that stuck. Lol. He has also decided that the we're having a 'he'. *rolls eyes*.

If it's one baby, I want a girl. If it's twins, one of each.

Interesting: The Oyewoles called me on Saturday and in the middle of our gist, Femi commented that he will be praying against twins for me because children are expensive. I said 'God forbid' under my breath because I do want twins, but I got a tad worried. I'm trusting God to provide for all our children. Nothing to fear.

Boobs!

They're so much heavier and my nipples are never soft/normal anymore. They don't hurt as much as I was expecting but they're sensitive.

I have new respect for being active now. I peel potatoes and I have to take a rest. You can only imagine what climbing stairs is like. I'm tempted to close my Fascinator shop till next year but I hear second trimester gets better. Phew! I need the money anyway.

I'm just gonna be writing everything I want to tell the girls here. 

Day 46

We found out Wednesday Jan 25 that I was about 5 weeks pregnant.

Long before this happened I suggested that when we do get preggers we won't tell anyone till after 3 mos. Now I'm regretting. I am so eager to tell my sisters. Aaaarggghh!

I'm bloated as a cow! I've been peeing and pooping crazy. My daily energy only lasts till 12noon. Cravings: goat meat peppesoup. Been snappy too. Takes much less to step on my toes these day.

Still a long way to go. First scan is on Feb 21 though! I'm excited. I'll be 9 weeks. Hope hubbs is able to make it.